Have you ever had fertility anxiety while on your journey? How do we know if we are experiencing fertility anxiety? Fertility anxiety can be anyone is experiencing worry, has anxious thoughts, or has fears around their fertility journey. When fertility anxiety comes up, we often want to resist it. My goal with this episode is to help you build some peace with your anxiety.
Today I am sharing the top 6 lessons that anxiety has taught me on my fertility journey in hopes that they can help you too.
1. Understand the purpose of my anxiety.
Our brain is constantly trying to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Our anxious minds have learned that if you worry, you are trying to avoid pain. When I tell myself, “hey this is just a pattern that my brain is doing to try to protect me”, it can lessen the intensity.
2. I got really honest with my anxiety.
What I mean is I got really clear on what my anxiety was trying to tell me vs. what are the actual facts. When I’m feeling that anxiety creep in, I will sit down and pick a topic that I am feeling more anxious about and I will dump anything that my brain has to offer about that. I write it down for 10 minutes and then I take a highlighter and highlight what is actually factual about what I wrote down. Seeing how much we worry vs. how much of it is just worries that are not even true is so helpful.
3. I learned to not sit in the negativity of how I was feeling but instead learned how to work through my emotions during that time.
It makes sense that we will feel these negative emotions and wonder why us? Why do I have to deal with this? I blame my infertility story, I blame my diagnosis, I blame (fill in the blank). We don’t have control over the past. We can’t erase it. Instead of sitting in that negativity, move forward and process these emotions. Yes it is hard. Part of my job as a coach is to sit with you and let you feel those feelings. What can you do to keep moving forward? Climb out of victim mode.
4. How to overcome my fear
Our brain will create fear as an emotion to prevent us from going into a dangerous situation. Really truly learning to live with anxiety gave me confidence to have fear to wonder if this was the right decision. Push through the fear, feel those negative emotions and do it anyway. This is a skill that will help you in so many areas.
5. There’s no such as thing as an anxiety free fantasy.
We keep telling ourselves that once we get to this milestone or this step that we won’t feel anxious anymore. The problem with this is the goal post continues to move. There is always something to feel anxious about. It is not true that you will be anxiety free. Learning to feel those emotions helps (see episode 2 to hep with this - link below).
6. Anxiety gifted me presence.
This one overlaps with lesson 5. We cannot depend on the future. We can’t depend on future outcomes to help us feel better. I used to think, let me get pregnant, let me have a baby, and I’ll be ok. But I did, I got pregnant. I carried to term. I delivered my daughter. I’m honored and grateful and I still have negative emotions. I still have anxiety about the future of my family because I am longing for that next baby.
So what I have learned is there is not some magical “end of the road”. Like I said, the goal post keeps moving. I allowed myself to realize this and learned to enjoy the now. I now allow myself the space to both hope for a future and also enjoy right now. This is what anxiety has given me.
I hope these lessons help you as you are navigating fertility anxiety. Let me know what you are thinking about these concepts around fertility anxiety. I would love to met you and chat with you more. Send me a DM on Instagram and let’s talk about this episode: @sarahbrandell
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IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:
- The 6 lessons that anxiety has taught me
LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE:
- Check out my last episode on allowing negative emotions when TTC.
- Get your 2 week wait workbook here: www.sarahbrandell.com/twoweekwait
- Interested in getting some coaching while you are on this path? Sign up for a consult call here: www.sarahbrandell.com/apply
MORE ABOUT THE PATH TO MOTHERHOOD PODCAST:
Welcome to The Path to Motherhood Podcast. I’m your host Sarah Brandell and I’m a fertility life coach, wife, and a mother on a mission to help you manage your mind and emotions around fertility and trying to conceive. I know where you are because I’ve been there. I have been through the long journey to motherhood, the waiting, the appointments, the testing, the unanswered questions, the medications, the shots and I am ready to help.
This podcast is for you if you are ready to learn how to navigate your path to motherhood authentically while honoring the emotions but also cultivating some hope. Join us each Monday as we walk through how to use the power of coaching to not only feel better along the way but also feel like you have an identity out of just trying to conceive.
Connect with me on @SarahBrandell on Instagram!
Download your free 2 week wait workbook here: www.sarahbrandell.com/twoweekwait
Ready for one on one coaching? Schedule a free consult call here: www.sarahbrandell.com/apply